Friday, January 31, 2014

All good things...

Apologies for the long hiatus. I've been finishing off school.

I'm all done now and this is somewhat bittersweet as this has been a very VERY long journey which began in 2008. Only somewhat because I don't think I will really miss school that much. I completed my final day of classes on Dec 15 which coincidentally was the day I left for a week-long cruise to the Bahamas. I officially graduated on December 30.
"All good things must come to an end." - English Proverb

My commencement - when I actually walk across a stage - will be sometime in late May or early June. University of Maryland University College only has one commencement a year - well technically THREE, but two are on the same day - one in the AM and the other in the PM - while the other is on the next day in the morning. It is broken up by majors so I won't be walking with all those prissy drama, English, and general studies majors. Hopefully.


Graduation: where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.


But the larger thing to explore is how I feel about completing school. As I noted in an earlier entry, I hated High School and wanted to be done with it and planned to never go back to school. Then my life's priorities changed and I found myself looking at school as a very viable option for advancing my career. Of course, in the intervening years, my family had at times suggested, begged, cajoled, and gave me orders in an attempt to get me to go back to school. I steadfastly and resolutely held my ground.
"All good things were at one time bad things." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Until my wife entered the scene with an opinion on me and my future and schooling. She asked that I seriously consider schooling as a way to get a better job. Then she gave me a deadline.

Interestingly enough, my brother, who also had not extended his educational endeavors past the High School level, had recently enrolled in online schooling. Not through any choice of his own, as I would learn later. When he was visiting one of our sisters, she had asked him to fill out some information in an online form and he complied, afterwards she announced that he was going back to school. It seems that she had enrolled him in an online school without his understanding what was really going on. Up until this point he had no full direction in his life and this helped him immensely in finding his way.
"All good things are wild and free." - Henry David Thoreau

After talking to him late one night and finding out that he was going back to school, I asked him for some more information on the whole online school thing. I stopped by his place and he showed me how it all worked. It seemed fairly easy to me and that night I made up my mind to take the plunge. My wife, interestingly enough, when told of my decision merely smiled and nodded as if somehow she knew that was going to happen, but was just waiting for me to realize it as well.


My revelation did not impress her either.


Flash forward to today, five years later. I'm all done. I am graduating Magna Cum Laude with the same exact GPA that my mother's dad earned (3.966) with a Double major (Computer Science and Information Systems Management), a Certificate of Project Management for IT Professionals, and having been inducted into two honor societies (Upsilon Pi Epsilon & Alpha Sigma Lambda.) Everyone keeps telling me that I have quite a bit to be proud about, but I'm just here still amazed that I was able to convince myself to go back to school to begin with much less complete a degree (or two).
"All good things are difficult to achieve." - Rene Descartes

Now that I'm all done with school, I need to start looking forward to the next shift in my life's direction. I need to focus on my career and my family. The capability for me to shift the focus of my life is something which I have done but a few times and it takes a little time to complete.
"All good things come to he who waits." - Proverb (Source Unknown)

So as I embark upon my next phase in life, I can't help but think of the learning over the past five years of schooling. Every interaction in each course with my classmates and professors were educational in some fashion. The opportunity I had to go back and to complete my education has really humbled me. The support and encouragement I received from my family as I progressed through my courses over the past five years has shown me I have a loving and caring family who wants me to succeed. All the hard work I put into obtaining my degree has taught me to appreciate it that much more. I am in a good place in my life and am, for the first time in a long time, really happy with the direction and speed with which my life is heading.
"These two truths are the same in weight and importance. Accept and love WHO and WHERE you are now, and all good things shall find you there." - Proverb (Source Unknown)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Change is not just for parking meters

This past weekend I had some new windows installed in my home. This may not seem momentous at first glance, but for me it was. For the last three years, my bedroom has had single-pane windows which allowed heat to escape in copious amounts in the winter, during the summer they allowed heat to enter, and year-round they enabled my wife and I to hear each and every dog in our neighborhood express their disappointment (or excitement) at being left outside. Now, finally, we can sleep a full night (or in my case - day) without being woken up by the garbageman coming past our house, or the neighbor's kid's band practicing. As pleased as these revelations make me feel, I can't help but think that over three years ago, I never would have been excited to have new windows. A new video game, sure, but new windows? Never.


My windows were not quite this bad, but almost.


I figure I'm so happy about these new windows because my priorities in life have shifted. I no longer get excited about new video games, but I am excited about new windows. Priorities in our lives constantly change and are modified by our situations and where we are in life. Four years ago, I played video games in my free time so they were important to me. Now, I am a homeowner attending school full-time while working full-time and I no longer have time for video games. New windows, however, I can now fully appreciate, and I do.

This revelation has made me realize that changing, or more specifically - accepting of change within my life, is one of the steps on the road to being a "grown-up". Having our desires/wants/and needs all come into alignment (more or less) is a real sign of maturation as a person. Sure, everyone's likes and dislikes modify and morph over time. But moving from liking chicken nuggets to liking a Bic Mac is totally different from shifting deriving happiness from video games to deriving happiness from new windows.

Things we were indifferent to, such as what sort of windows are in the room where we sleep, are suddenly important. At the same time, things that were urgently important to us, such as seeing all the new blockbusters in the movie theater, fall by the wayside.

Time moves on - the world changes, and as we go through life and this world, items of import to our lives also change. We change as we get older - we are no longer the same person as when we started this journey. As a result, things important to us also change.

I am no longer the same person who married my wife fifteen years ago. Back then I was madly in love with her, had just gotten a job at a fast-food restaurant, had no plans of going back to school, we were renting an apartment and back then all this was good enough for me. Flash forward to today: I am working at an IT security firm gaining valuable experience while I complete my college degrees. I am also now a home owner who is still madly in love with his wife. I am an almost completely different person from who my wife married.

But in a way, we all are different people from who we were fifteen, ten, or even five years ago. We are all doppelgangers of sorts. A totally different person, yet somehow the same, from who we once were in the past. Priorities shift. New jobs. Re-locations and moving. New friends and family members enter our lives. Others leave.

We all change all the time. How we deal with it reflects on how strong we are as a person. Some must be pulled kicking and screaming, while some never are able to make the leap at all and live in the past. Most are able to adapt after a fashion, however, and learn to cope with change in their lives. The good ones are the ones who never notice it, but are able to accept it on a subconscious level. Strong people are able to direct their own lives through change. The exceptional ones are those lucky few who can bring change to the world through the power of their dreams.


Visionary.


I am looking forward to a future full of change. I never envisioned having a college degree, yet here I am - a year and eight months away from completing TWO degrees. I never thought I would be able to afford a home, yet here I am a full fledged home-mortgage payer of three years. It is amazing what can happen in your life when you are able to focus on what you need to change in your life to improve it, and enact that change.

Growing up, my mom said I was always a daydreamer with my head in the clouds. I like to think I still have my head in the clouds, but now it is looking forward to a better future. One that I can bring about myself.

Yes, everything changes. Even me. The future is looking real bright through these new windows I have.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

School is education for life

Education is not something I take for granted any more. I am very thankful to be in college and continuing my education. I see now that learning is not just a one-and-done sort of thing, it is ongoing. Education is for life.

So many kids just want to be done with school, and get out - never look back. I know. I was one of those kids. I disliked high-school in California, and when I moved to Maryland for my senior year, I pretty much hated it. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that my then-future-wife was attending the same school, I may have ended up dropping out. But I stuck with it and squeaked through - just above the graduation requirements.

Looking back on it now, I feel bad for some of my teachers. Especially my English teacher. I had to take a year of English in my senior year, but by the second half of the year, I stopped caring. I did just enough to pass the class, and I slept through more than half of them. In the front row of the class. And I snored. I'll bet she hated me and was glad to see me go. I would not be surprised to find out she gave me a passing grade JUST so she would not have me back in her class again the following year.



Just think of all the drool I left on that desk.


So I graduated. I wore my giant blue robe and my square blue hat. Walked across the stage and got my diploma. My family was there. My then-future-wife was there. And I remember being so happy that I was done with learning.

What an idiot I was.

Learning is for life.

So here I am in college almost 20 years after I graduated from high-school. Still learning, still being educated. One of the differences is that now I am paying to attend school. One good thing is that I am doing the online school thing. It makes things so much easier. With my work schedule, it is hard to schedule classes that I could attend regularly. Plus, I get to learn at my own pace, which has always been advantageous for me because of the the way I learn best.

I am majoring in Computer Science. When I was planning out my degree, I discovered that universities have their education down to a science. The first two years in attendance, you take crap classes that are supposed to 'round out' your education. Then in the last two years, half is taken up with classes for your major, and the other half is taken up with electives. Basically, you are spending nearly 25% of your education on random classes that really have nothing to do with your degree or your future career. What a scam.

I looked hard at the available classes and decided I wanted to maximize my time spent at college and get the most out of my money spent. So, for my 'elective' classes, I am taking a selection of classes which will get me a second degree in Information Systems Management as well as a certificate in Project Management for IT Professionals. So basically, I am in effect scamming the university out of a "free" second degree! All those useless elective classes are going to be a whole second degree instead. It is going to be tough, but I know I can do it.



Double degree? Double the money!


I realize that my entire educational experience up to this point has been working towards helping me obtain my college degrees. My entire life has been full of education from one school or another. I attended two different elementary schools, one junior-high school, two different high-schools, one college, and now one university. Each one has been a unique experience and I have memories from all of them that I treasure and cherish.

I learned a great deal in elementary school, junior-high school, high school, college, and now a university. I learned a great deal of knowledge that various teachers have poured into my head. However, the most valuable stuff I learned was not actively taught by any teacher or any professor.

The most valuable stuff I learned were all the intangibles that teachers and professors may not have realized they were teaching at the time...

Showing up on time - I was expected to be in class and in my seat at a specific time - this has taught me to be on time for work and other engagements, and that showing up late is unacceptable.

Completing assignments on time - If an assignment was due on a specific date, I was expected to turn it in on that date - this has taught me to complete my tasks at work promptly and to finish any projects on time.

No cheating - All schoolwork and tests were to be completed without cheating or plagiarizing - this has taught me to be honest and not to "cheat" in life by stealing or using other illegal/unethical methods.

Showing respect for others - I was expected to show respect for my fellow students as well as the teachers and school staff - this has taught me to show respect for everyone I work with or encounter throughout my day.

Having pride in your work - All my schoolwork was to be completed to the best of my abilities, and if I did well in school I should celebrate it - this has taught me to be proud of the work I accomplish, and to work hard and do the best job I can while working on it.

So, as you can see, some of the most valuable learning I received at school were lessons that directly translate to living in the adult world. Knowledge of the French bourgeoisie and their direct effects on the French revolution as well as how close France came to becoming a Socialist state at that time, have no direct application on my life. But, all those other skills listed above, have proven invaluable to me. They are some of the most important things I learned while growing up. These skills will help me in my future careers and throughout the remainder of my life.

School was one of the two largest factors in my life that shaped me into the person I am today. I am thankful for the skills I learned there. This introspective look at how schooling has helped me throughout my entire life has led me to one inescapable conclusion.

School is education for life.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Fare thee well, 2011. I'm pleased to meet you, 2012!

Happy New Year!



The end of the world!


Hrm, probably not the best of images to use, but its all I could pull off on short notice. Besides it is somewhat relevant with the Mayan December 2012 prediction, right?

I considered what to write about for the final entry of the year. I could write about all the things I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I could write about all the New Years resolutions for 2011 that I did not accomplish. I could summarize world news events in a few paragraphs. However, I ultimately am choosing to do none of those in a grand sweeping end-of-the-year gesture. Or rather, I am choosing -to- do one of those, but in a very limited and narrow fashion.

For 2012, I do have a list of accomplishments that I wish to complete. I suppose you could call them New Year's Resolutions, but they are really more than that. They are objectives which I want to reach. Not resolutions, per say, but goals which I want to accomplish. I'm not going to list them here, some are private, some are silly, and yet others will be covered in other entries. This entry, however, is about one of them. Specifically, the number one entry on my list of New Year's Goals...

#1 : Think positively.

That's it. Simple, direct, to the point. It is, however, something much harder than I realized when I started trying it earlier this year. You see, I have had negative influences forced upon me for most of the time I have been on this planet. Yes, forced. Either directly (people beating me up, bullying me, or being assholes) or indirectly (apartment broken into, car accidents, or losing friends). Somehow, someway the universe always found a way to make me feel like shit.

I'm not going to delve into specifics of the various sources (perhaps I may touch upon a few in later entries, but not now), but the final major one removed was my last job, working for a major electronics retailer. The General Manager was a jerk and my direct supervisor and manager were lazy as hell. Combined with the low pay, the stupidest customers in the world, and screwed up retail hours, it made working there pretty bad. My coworkers, for the most part were pretty cool, and made it -just- bearable. I left there earlier this year for a new job, one without negativity. I have great co-workers, the hours are regular, and the pay and benefits are great

Now that I am in a good place in my life, and pretty much all the negativity has been removed, I was left with a void in my life. The void being the absence of all the negative pressure/events in my life. I was unsure of what to do with the absence of the oppressive weight of negative energy. I started filling myself with negativity, feeling negative about myself. FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO FILL THE VOID. This is probably one of the stupidest things I could have done. I was finally rid of the negativity and what did I do? I went and created some for myself!

I recognized this a few months ago, and realized that the absence of these negativities in my life is a good thing. This void I have needs to be filled up, yes, but not refilled with more negativity. I need to fill it up with other things. Things like rainbows, glitter, smiles, children's laughter...

Yeah right, like that will happen. I do need to fill it up, and I have a few things to toss in there. Hobbies - I used to have numerous hobbies when I was younger, now I have none. I need to get a hobby. Schoolwork - I need to secure good grades to earn and maintain scholarships. Thinking positively - I need to start thinking more positively and have a better attitude about life and myself in particular. Since the first two things to help fill the void are just activities, while the third item is a change in my way of life, I selected thinking positively to be number one on my list of accomplishments to accomplish for 2012.

I have to start with a better attitude about myself. I deserve this great job. I deserve my house. I deserve this fantastic wife. I deserve a pizza. I deserve a Dr. Pepper. I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.



Thanks Stuart Smalley!


So, thinking positively is hard. After all these years of being cynical and waxing poetic about the evils of life, I realize I need to change my ways. Its like I've been driving in reverse my whole life and suddenly I find myself going forward and I have all four gears (or five depending on what type of car you are driving, some cars also have overdrive, you could also have all-wheel drive, or four-wheel drive, or even two-wheel part-time dr... oh wait..) at my beck and call. I need to start moving forward and have a more positive outlook on life.

It will be hard, but I know I can do it. I have an amazing support structure starting with my amazing wife. I read, somewhere, this amazing quote, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." That just about sums up the path I am on. In the words of The Little Engine That Could, "I think I can."

So, at the start of this article I noted the type of lists that I was NOT going to have in this article. However, I never said what list I WAS going to have in this article. I needed to lay some groundwork for the reasoning behind my list, and with that done, I can unveil my list:

Things that were awesome in my life in 2011
(in no particular order)


  • My wife
  • A in my Calculus class
  • Doctor Who
  • Getting my new job
  • Thanksgiving with my family
  • Dr Pepper
  • My wife's smile
  • Jack Reacher novels
  • Pizza
  • Pandora music app
  • Seeing my niece Kaitlin at Christmas and hearing her sing!
  • My parents
  • Going to a Redskins game
  • Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
  • Relaxing while reading a book (or watching TV)
  • My wife
  • Seeing the second-to-last Space Shuttle Launch - live in Florida
  • Losing weight
  • New couch
  • Reconnecting with an old friend from High School
  • New dining-room light fixture
  • Sleeping in
  • Christmas decorations
  • Meeting my niece-in-law Zoe
  • New coffee table
  • My parents-in-law
  • Game of Thrones (TV show and books)
  • Kelloggs Frosted Flakes
  • My wife
  • Weekends off
  • ALL my brothers and sisters (nuclear and in-law varieties)
  • Quitting my old job
  • Transformers 3
  • Maintaining my 4.0
  • Pizza
  • Christmas Music
  • Dr Pepper
  • The Muppet Movie
  • The Kingkiller Chronicles
  • Smiles
  • My wife

Hmm? What's that you say? I have repeated items on the list? Nay. I have listed each item on the list exactly as many times as it needs to be there.

So with that out of the way, I hope your past year has had as much awesomeness as mine. And I can only hope that 2012 is even better than 2011, for all of us!



Better picture this time?




Lastly, I apologize, I have been really busy with school and the holidays. No time to write a second entry this month. I will make up for that. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Guest Blogger Amanda Evans - The time I nearly killed my husband and his father

Now, don't get me wrong, I dearly love my husband (the Pizza-holic himself) and his father is a wonderful man.

It all started months back. My husband and his father were discussing the lighting in the living room and dining room. We have a small house with just 2 lights shared between the two areas, nothing over the table itself.

They decided that we needed more light. To achieve this, they decided we needed a chandelier in the dining nook.

THE NOOK!!!!

It's a 5x9 area in the corner and is open to the rest of the room. It was also decided to move one of the living room lights to be more in the middle of the room, away from the table.

My husband decided that since we'd be doing all that work, we should also add 2 can lights above the front door and one into the hallway.

Now to the problem itself...

Some weeks back, I decided I would host Thanksgiving, making a turkey and ham for everyone in the family. Now, not everyone would be coming, his 2 sisters and his niece live in California and his 2 brothers were visiting their respective girlfriends families. However his parents, my parents, my 3 brothers, plus 2 grandparents, a sister-in-law and my niece would be coming over - 14 people when all is said and done.

I should also mention that this is the first Thanksgiving dinner I've made, not only in our 14 year marriage, but in my life.

For the last 18 years, we've been enjoying 2 holiday meals, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, by going to his parents early, my parents late, or vice versa, so it's about time I started pulling my own weight.

Now back to my confession story...

Saturday, November 19, 2011, hubs decides to invite his dad over to start on the lights...

FOUR DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!!!!

I was going to clean the house between Saturday and Sunday, with touch up cleaning Wednesday after work, devoting Thursday to food.

So, instead of a clean living room Saturday night, I have drywall dust everywhere and 4 horribly patched holes in my walls and ceiling.

"Why don't we clean up the living room now?" my husband asks me.

My reply? "There is no use until we're done with the drywall patching - otherwise it's mop the floor every day. Sure, we can sweep and vacuum, but mop? No, there's no way I'm fighting that battle."

So, I cleaned the mudroom and most of the kitchen counters. Cleaned the clutter in the living room and daily sanded and patched the holes in the wall and ceiling. Monday (T-Minus 3days) I applied 2 coats of primer on the ceiling. Late, before bed, I also was able to apply the first coat of ceiling paint

Yay! Progress!!!

When I got home Tuesday, Hubby had applied the second coat to the ceiling and I primed the wall patches. Their first coat of paint went on before I went to bed, they were finished Wednesday when I got home from work.

So, Wednesday, by myself because hubby is at work, I have to:

Clean the living room of plaster dust
Mop that floor
Clean the kitchen counters, floor and appliances
Clean the bathrooms and hallway

Oh yeah, I also have to:

Brine the turkey which is still partially frozen
Boil and peel eggs for the deviled eggs
Figured out if I've forgotten anything

BUT! since my ceiling and walls don't have holes in them I don't have to kill my husband and his father or figure out what to do with the bodies...

So I have all that time to use before Thanksgiving.



P.S.

Thanksgiving went great, the turkey was moist, the ham tender, the deviled eggs were decimated, people had fun and that's all that matters in the end...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Ruminations on Holidays #1: Halloween

So, this year for Halloween, my wife and I put out modest decorations. We lined our front walk with little plastic pumpkins and hung out some spooky looking signs like "Beware" and "Graveyard". Not much, but enough to let the children in our neighborhood know that we were hosting trick-or-treaters this year. I remember when I was a kid, going around to various houses, that I hated it when we could not determine if a house was participating. If the house had all their lights turned off and no decorations, it was pretty clear they were not giving anything out. If a house was smothered with decorations , spooky music, a fog machine running, and someone in front in costume with a bowl of candy, it was a safe bet they were giving out candy. However, the houses that were lit, but had no decorations were a mystery. Sometimes they were giving away candy, and other times they just would not answer the door. It was annoying to waste perfectly good candy-gathering time on these houses that refused to respect the Halloween code.

What is the Halloween code? Good question, I'm glad you asked. Here it is:
"If thou art participating in the practice of bequeathing free goodies upon youngsters who took the time to garb themselves in various and sundry disguises and seek thine door for such favours, then it is judicious to put out some form of decoration or sign to indicate as such. And if thou choosest not to participate in the aforementioned festivities, then thou art tallt and must have nary a light on outside your premises."

Basically, stop wasting my (and other kids') time with guessing games. We have a hard enough time coming up with costumes each year and determining which neighborhoods will result in the maximum haul for least amount of effort.

Speaking of costumes, I remember several memorable ones from my childhood. My mom made me an E.T. costume that I wore for several years.

STOP LAUGHING!

Back when I was a kid, E.T. was pretty cool. Plus, my dad took a mini-flashlight and rigged it so the tip of my costume's finger glowed red, just like in the movie. At the time, I had the coolest costume on the block.

I also remember dressing up as a caveman one year. I made a club out of paper maché covering a few styrofoam cups and a balloon. My dad helped me make my "furs" out of some old fake-fur coat liners that we sewed together. It was a pretty cool costume. I had a wig that we messed up by putting dirt and twigs in it, I got these fake bushy eyebrows too. My brother, G, had just finished some dinosaur project he did for a class so I also had an over-sized paper maché bone that I tucked into my fake fur belt. Yeah, I had a pretty cool costume that year.

I believe the last year I went trick-or-treating was at the start of my Sophomore year in High School. I had just discovered the Dragonlance books written by Weis and Hickman, and since I had already carved my Boy Scout walking stick into the semblance of a magical staff (basically, I carved the top into a three-pronged claw and glued a large blue marble in it), I decided to go as Raistlin Majere. That Halloween was one of the best I've ever had, and one of my last really good memories from when I lived in Pleasanton, but more on that later.

So my wife and I had put up decorations, and I even had a CD with recordings of scary sounds that I played last year (and got compliments on it!) all set up. Unfortunately I worked the night of Halloween, so I was not able to hand out candy this year. So instead, I spent my spare time during the night reading up on various Halloween customs around the world. It got me to thinking, I was curious as to the historical origins of the holiday. I knew a little of it, but wanted to know more, so I did some research on the internet and came up with this:

The Celts observed only two seasons of the year: summer and winter. Samhain was celebrated at one of the transitions between these seasons. It was the eve of their festival of Samhain which was a joyful harvest festival that marked the death of the old year and the beginning of a new one. The Celtic people feared this evening of October 31 more than any other day of the year. Come evening, evil spirits were everywhere. Several rituals were performed by the Celtic Druids to appease the Lord of the Dead.

Christianity entered the scene in the fourth century and the Christian Fathers tried their hardest to stamp out all things pagan. However, the Celts held firmly to their customs. So, the Christian church absorbed these holy days, gave them new meanings and new names, and told the people that the fire rites they had previously held for the Lord of the Dead on October 31 would now protect them from the Devil, the enemy of God.

In the 9th century the Christian church moved All Saint's Day from May to November 1st. The original festival for the pagan Lord of the Dead became a festival of Christian dead. People went on expecting the arrival of ghosts on October 31st. Another name for All Saint's Day was All Hallows' Eve which was later shortened to Halloween.

So, as my cousin put it, on Halloween we should be celebrating as if it were New Years Eve. Lots of drinking, partying, dressing up, having a great time... oh wait. We already do that.

Speaking of having a great time... flashing back to my last year of trick-or-treating - remember it was my Sophomore year in High School. So, I had a group of friends from scouts that I hung out with on occasion and we decided to all go around together as a group. A few of the guys had cars, so we were no longer restricted in the areas we could trick-or-treat. We could drive anywhere. For a teen who previously had no method of transportation, and consequently no way of traveling to other neighborhoods this was an awesome feeling.

All sorts of questions rushed through my head. What new areas would we target for trick-or-treating? What kind of candy do they have in these other areas? Are they as good as the rumors have built them up to be? Will we visit more than one part of the town on Halloween night? Is it true that the candy bars are chocolate-ier on the other side of town?

Then one of the group spoke up and suggested we target an area that previously never was even a possibility. It was an area that none of the rest of us had ever been before. Blackhawk. What was Blackhawk? Another good question. Blackhawk is an unincorporated neighborhood about 10 miles north of Pleasanton. Everyone knew it was there, but not many had ever actually been there, for you see Blackhawk is a gated community where many rich celebrities lived. All of us non-rich people were kept out by the armed guards at the front gates. My friend said, however, that his older brother had trick-or-treated inside Blackhawk a few years prior, and that his brother had revealed to him the secret of how to get in and trick-or-treat at this, the Holy Grail of trick-or-treating locations.

Basically, it involves a group of eleven people, all with diverse skills, running a series of scams which all lead up to the biggest heist in Las Ve.. oh wait. Nevermind. That's just my thoughts on a movie script I'm gonna polish up, then travel back in time to get made into a movie. I am thinking of Clooney and Pitt for the lead roles. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Anyways, back to Blackhawk. Basically it involves parking about a half-mile behind the community, along a side road. Then tromping over hill and dale, through brush and grass, to enter the community from the rear.

Hrm, that just sounds wrong, lets try again.

We maneuvered around the back of the community to penetrate it from behind.

Oh, crap, that sounds worse. I'm gonna stop - I'm positive you get the idea of what happened and how it was to happen. So, we all told our parents we were going to go trick-or-treating over near our high-school, because if we told them we were going to illegally enter the gated Blackhawk community to beg candy from strange rich people, I'm positive it never would have happened. Just because parents are weird like that.

Flash-forward to Halloween night. My parents, being the awesome people they are on Halloween, served up one of two traditional Halloween dishes. Now, you must understand that on Halloween, my parents quickly realized that with all the time spent getting five children ready to go out trick-or-treating, then time spent actually TAKING them trick-or-treating, then time spent sorting through candy once they got home from trick-or-treating (throw away anything opened or with torn packaging, right?), that they would have absolutely no time for preparing a meal, serving a meal, eating a meal, and cleaning up a meal.

So they made things easy for everyone and had one of two meals - Kraft Deluxe Macaroni and Cheese (it HAS to be the deluxe - because the powdered stuff just doesn't cut it!) or pizza. That night we had pizza. I even remember the restaurant. Garlex Pizza. They had the best crusts - all garlicky and buttery - like a breadstick all on its own, to enjoy once you finished the deliciousness of the rest of the garlicky/cheesy/saucy slice. Too bad they are only located in California, otherwise I would be ordering them at least once a week if not more.


Actual picture of a Garlex Pizza pizza!



So after devouring my chosen victims.. uh.. slices, I quickly finished off my costume and waited for my friends to stop by to pick me up. I handed out candy to a few little kids that had already started to come through the neighborhood, so my mom could help my brothers finish getting ready. Then a horn from outside announced that they were here! I called out to my mom that I was heading out and I would be back late that night. I didn't wait for an answer and ran to meet my friends as I grabbed my staff and pillowcase. Oh yeah, I had to hide the pillowcase on my way out the door, because my parents felt that going trick-or-treating with a pillowcase was somehow crass or lower-class. Silly parents, don't they know that with a larger container, I can get more loot?

I squeezed in the car and we went off to pick up one other guy and then met up with the other car. We all proceeded to drive over to the side road near the back side of Blackhawk. After everyone piled out, we saw a few other cars were parked nearby that also had kids in costumes sitting in them. One of my friends walked over to the closest car and greeted the kids inside. The guy in the drivers seat said that he has been coming here for the past two years, and that the trick was to wait until just after the sun sets, because if you try to cross the fields in the sunlight, the guards who drive around in Blackhawk can see you. So we waited. The wait was short as the sun was already nearly set, and we passed the time by talking to the guy and getting all the information we could on what to expect.

He said that once we get inside, we will be left alone by the security. He also noted that the prior two years his group worked in conjunction with another group, which did not make it this year because all the kids had left for college, to share intel on which houses had the best loot. Our groups agreed to share information on houses we had hit up, so as to maximize the loot-gathering time spent in Blackhawk.

The sun set and we took off through the fields. On the way over, I asked what sort of candy to expect to get, and the guy said that many of the houses just hand out the fun-size candies, but there are some that hand out regular size candy bars, and a rare few that have handed out the king-size ones. My friends and I all looked at each other and grinned.

The rest of the night went by so quickly. I honestly do not remember much of the rest of that night. I do remember one awesome thing, one of the guys who had been there in previous years came up to us at one point and told us to go down two blocks, turn right and hit up the house on that street with all the lights. He said that house was John Madden's house and that he was giving out the best treat of all. He pulled out a Discman from his pillowcase. We ran as fast as we could, but unfortunately we got to the home too late. John Madden, or more accurately whomever he had answering his door that night, had ran out of the Discmen, and was only giving out king-size Snickers. I also remember that my haul was the envy of my brothers and sisters and that it lasted me until Christmas, not for lack of eating it though.

Halloween is meant to be a fun, enjoyable time for kids. Something to look forward to after the depression of school starting up again has had time to sink in. Halloween is supposed to be a time for children to be, well, children. That is why it is a damn shame that only three kids came by my home this year to trick-or-treat. Are they all at home playing Call of Duty - too busy to be bothered with dressing up and going door to door to get free candy and have fun? Or are their parents too scared that they will be kidnapped and won't let them outside?

I really do not know why children do not go trick-or-treating on Halloween any more. I do know, that Halloween was one of my favorite times of the year growing up. Just behind Christmas and my birthday, and just ahead of Easter (you got more candy on Halloween - sorry Easter!) I find it sad that today's generation, for whatever reason, is not having the same enjoyable experiences that I had as a kid.

Maybe it is for the best, its not like kids today have the guts to go around to peoples' houses and beg for candy while dressed up as E.T.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Lies I told my brother #12: Light bulbs

Like most big brothers, I was mean to my younger brothers. I guess it was for a variety of reasons, my sisters were mean to me so I was mean in turn to them, or maybe it was because I was bullied at school so I needed someone in turn to bully, but probably it was because I was a jerk when I was younger.

Some simple background here, I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. One of my brothers, lets call him G, is only 3 years younger than I, while the youngest, lets call him D, is 8 years younger.

G was an even tempered kid growing up and didn't get into trouble a lot. D, on the other hand, was always into mischief. He felt it necessary to cause as much destruction as possible, all the time. One time he fed all of my Transformer Constructicons to our dog who promptly chewed them all to pieces. So with that example in mind, please do not judge what G and I did. We told D lies. We told him such outlandish lies to curtail his destruction that looking back on it, I almost feel bad. Then I remember my Constructicons and feelings of regret disappear.

In our garage, our dad had fluorescent light fixtures with those large pole-looking fluorescent light bulbs. They were constantly going bad, and being replaced, but he never threw the bad ones away, just put them up on a rack in the garage. Well one summer after he had collected about six or seven bad ones, he finally decided to discard them. He had one of my older sisters put them in the trash can in the backyard. Bad idea.

D found them pretty quickly and went and got G and I to grab them out of the trashcan. D said they looked like lightsabers and he wanted to try having a lightsaber battle with them. Well, I honestly do not remember who said it first, but we quickly elaborated on it once the idea was brought to fruition. I believe the conversation went something like this...

Either G or myself: "D, we can't have a lightsaber battle with them."

D: "Why not?"

Either G or myself: "Because, if we fight with them, they will break, and glass will get all over."

D: "So?"

Either G or myself: "So we will get in trouble and then have to clean it up."

D: "So?"

Either G or myself: "D, we can't break them because they are full of poison gas."

The other one of us: "Yeah, if we fight with them and they break, then the gas will escape and it will melt all the flesh off our bones!"

D: "What?!?"

Either G or myself: "Yeah, all lightbulbs are full of this gas. It is horrible, but this is the only gas that lights up properly, so they have to use it."

D: "Even the small lightbulbs?"

Either G or myself: "Yeah, don't break any lightbulbs unless you want your flesh to dissolve."

I know. We're horrible brothers to D. In our defense, at the time, it was all perfectly logical to us - tell a lie and prevent D from breaking more things. No big deal to us. I believe we even elaborated the lie further by saying it was a greenish gas and it stank real bad.

I am unsure how long this lie stuck with him, although when asked recently he said he does no longer believe it. Needless to say, the lie we told was successful. I do not believe D ever broke a lightbulb while growing up.