Fare thee well, 2011. I'm pleased to meet you, 2012!

Happy New Year!


The end of the world!

Hrm, probably not the best of images to use, but its all I could pull off on short notice. Besides it is somewhat relevant with the Mayan December 2012 prediction, right?

I considered what to write about for the final entry of the year. I could write about all the things I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I could write about all the New Years resolutions for 2011 that I did not accomplish. I could summarize world news events in a few paragraphs. However, I ultimately am choosing to do none of those in a grand sweeping end-of-the-year gesture. Or rather, I am choosing -to- do one of those, but in a very limited and narrow fashion.

For 2012, I do have a list of accomplishments that I wish to complete. I suppose you could call them New Year's Resolutions, but they are really more than that. They are objectives which I want to reach. Not resolutions, per say, but goals which I want to accomplish. I'm not going to list them here, some are private, some are silly, and yet others will be covered in other entries. This entry, however, is about one of them. Specifically, the number one entry on my list of New Year's Goals...

#1 : Think positively.

That's it. Simple, direct, to the point. It is, however, something much harder than I realized when I started trying it earlier this year. You see, I have had negative influences forced upon me for most of the time I have been on this planet. Yes, forced. Either directly (people beating me up, bullying me, or being assholes) or indirectly (apartment broken into, car accidents, or losing friends). Somehow, someway the universe always found a way to make me feel like shit.

I'm not going to delve into specifics of the various sources (perhaps I may touch upon a few in later entries, but not now), but the final major one removed was my last job, working for a major electronics retailer. The General Manager was a jerk and my direct supervisor and manager were lazy as hell. Combined with the low pay, the stupidest customers in the world, and screwed up retail hours, it made working there pretty bad. My coworkers, for the most part were pretty cool, and made it -just- bearable. I left there earlier this year for a new job, one without negativity. I have great co-workers, the hours are regular, and the pay and benefits are great

Now that I am in a good place in my life, and pretty much all the negativity has been removed, I was left with a void in my life. The void being the absence of all the negative pressure/events in my life. I was unsure of what to do with the absence of the oppressive weight of negative energy. I started filling myself with negativity, feeling negative about myself. FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN TO FILL THE VOID. This is probably one of the stupidest things I could have done. I was finally rid of the negativity and what did I do? I went and created some for myself!

I recognized this a few months ago, and realized that the absence of these negativities in my life is a good thing. This void I have needs to be filled up, yes, but not refilled with more negativity. I need to fill it up with other things. Things like rainbows, glitter, smiles, children's laughter...

Yeah right, like that will happen. I do need to fill it up, and I have a few things to toss in there. Hobbies - I used to have numerous hobbies when I was younger, now I have none. I need to get a hobby. Schoolwork - I need to secure good grades to earn and maintain scholarships. Thinking positively - I need to start thinking more positively and have a better attitude about life and myself in particular. Since the first two things to help fill the void are just activities, while the third item is a change in my way of life, I selected thinking positively to be number one on my list of accomplishments to accomplish for 2012.

I have to start with a better attitude about myself. I deserve this great job. I deserve my house. I deserve this fantastic wife. I deserve a pizza. I deserve a Dr. Pepper. I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.



Thanks Stuart Smalley!

So, thinking positively is hard. After all these years of being cynical and waxing poetic about the evils of life, I realize I need to change my ways. Its like I've been driving in reverse my whole life and suddenly I find myself going forward and I have all four gears (or five depending on what type of car you are driving, some cars also have overdrive, you could also have all-wheel drive, or four-wheel drive, or even two-wheel part-time dr... oh wait..) at my beck and call. I need to start moving forward and have a more positive outlook on life.

It will be hard, but I know I can do it. I have an amazing support structure starting with my amazing wife. I read, somewhere, this amazing quote, "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right." That just about sums up the path I am on. In the words of The Little Engine That Could, "I think I can."

So, at the start of this article I noted the type of lists that I was NOT going to have in this article. However, I never said what list I WAS going to have in this article. I needed to lay some groundwork for the reasoning behind my list, and with that done, I can unveil my list:

Things that were awesome in my life in 2011
(in no particular order)

• My wife
• A in my Calculus class
• Doctor Who
• Getting my new job
• Thanksgiving with my family
• Dr Pepper
• My wife's smile
• Jack Reacher novels
• Pizza
• Pandora music app
• Seeing my niece Kaitlin at Christmas and hearing her sing!
• My parents
• Going to a Redskins game
• Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
• Relaxing while reading a book (or watching TV)
• My wife
• Seeing the second-to-last Space Shuttle Launch - live in Florida
• Losing weight
• New couch
• Reconnecting with an old friend from High School
• New dining-room light fixture
• Sleeping in
• Christmas decorations
• Meeting my niece-in-law Zoe
• New coffee table
• My parents-in-law
• Game of Thrones (TV show and books)
• Kelloggs Frosted Flakes
• My wife
• Weekends off
• ALL my brothers and sisters (nuclear and in-law varieties)
• Quitting my old job
• Transformers 3
• Maintaining my 4.0
• Pizza
• Christmas Music
• Dr Pepper
• The Muppet Movie
• The Kingkiller Chronicles
• Smiles
• My wife

Hmm? What's that you say? I have repeated items on the list? Nay. I have listed each item on the list exactly as many times as it needs to be there.

So with that out of the way, I hope your past year has had as much awesomeness as mine. And I can only hope that 2012 is even better than 2011, for all of us!



Better picture this time?



Lastly, I apologize, I have been really busy with school and the holidays. No time to write a second entry this month. I will make up for that. Because I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!

Guest Blogger Amanda Evans - The time I nearly killed my husband and his father

Now, don't get me wrong, I dearly love my husband (the Pizza-holic himself) and his father is a wonderful man.

It all started months back. My husband and his father were discussing the lighting in the living room and dining room. We have a small house with just 2 lights shared between the two areas, nothing over the table itself.

They decided that we needed more light. To achieve this, they decided we needed a chandelier in the dining nook.

THE NOOK!!!!

It's a 5x9 area in the corner and is open to the rest of the room. It was also decided to move one of the living room lights to be more in the middle of the room, away from the table.

My husband decided that since we'd be doing all that work, we should also add 2 can lights above the front door and one into the hallway.

Now to the problem itself...

Some weeks back, I decided I would host Thanksgiving, making a turkey and ham for everyone in the family. Now, not everyone would be coming, his 2 sisters and his niece live in California and his 2 brothers were visiting their respective girlfriends families. However his parents, my parents, my 3 brothers, plus 2 grandparents, a sister-in-law and my niece would be coming over - 14 people when all is said and done.

I should also mention that this is the first Thanksgiving dinner I've made, not only in our 14 year marriage, but in my life.

For the last 18 years, we've been enjoying 2 holiday meals, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, by going to his parents early, my parents late, or vice versa, so it's about time I started pulling my own weight.

Now back to my confession story...

Saturday, November 19, 2011, hubs decides to invite his dad over to start on the lights...

FOUR DAYS BEFORE THANKSGIVING!!!!!

I was going to clean the house between Saturday and Sunday, with touch up cleaning Wednesday after work, devoting Thursday to food.

So, instead of a clean living room Saturday night, I have drywall dust everywhere and 4 horribly patched holes in my walls and ceiling.

"Why don't we clean up the living room now?" my husband asks me.

My reply? "There is no use until we're done with the drywall patching - otherwise it's mop the floor every day. Sure, we can sweep and vacuum, but mop? No, there's no way I'm fighting that battle."

So, I cleaned the mudroom and most of the kitchen counters. Cleaned the clutter in the living room and daily sanded and patched the holes in the wall and ceiling. Monday (T-Minus 3days) I applied 2 coats of primer on the ceiling. Late, before bed, I also was able to apply the first coat of ceiling paint

Yay! Progress!!!

When I got home Tuesday, Hubby had applied the second coat to the ceiling and I primed the wall patches. Their first coat of paint went on before I went to bed, they were finished Wednesday when I got home from work.

So, Wednesday, by myself because hubby is at work, I have to:

Clean the living room of plaster dust
Mop that floor
Clean the kitchen counters, floor and appliances
Clean the bathrooms and hallway

Oh yeah, I also have to:

Brine the turkey which is still partially frozen
Boil and peel eggs for the deviled eggs
Figured out if I've forgotten anything

BUT! since my ceiling and walls don't have holes in them I don't have to kill my husband and his father or figure out what to do with the bodies...

So I have all that time to use before Thanksgiving.



P.S.

Thanksgiving went great, the turkey was moist, the ham tender, the deviled eggs were decimated, people had fun and that's all that matters in the end...

Ruminations on Holidays #1: Halloween

So, this year for Halloween, my wife and I put out modest decorations. We lined our front walk with little plastic pumpkins and hung out some spooky looking signs like "Beware" and "Graveyard". Not much, but enough to let the children in our neighborhood know that we were hosting trick-or-treaters this year. I remember when I was a kid, going around to various houses, that I hated it when we could not determine if a house was participating. If the house had all their lights turned off and no decorations, it was pretty clear they were not giving anything out. If a house was smothered with decorations , spooky music, a fog machine running, and someone in front in costume with a bowl of candy, it was a safe bet they were giving out candy. However, the houses that were lit, but had no decorations were a mystery. Sometimes they were giving away candy, and other times they just would not answer the door. It was annoying to waste perfectly good candy-gathering time on these houses that refused to respect the Halloween code.

What is the Halloween code? Good question, I'm glad you asked. Here it is:
"If thou art participating in the practice of bequeathing free goodies upon youngsters who took the time to garb themselves in various and sundry disguises and seek thine door for such favours, then it is judicious to put out some form of decoration or sign to indicate as such. And if thou choosest not to participate in the aforementioned festivities, then thou art tallt and must have nary a light on outside your premises."

Basically, stop wasting my (and other kids') time with guessing games. We have a hard enough time coming up with costumes each year and determining which neighborhoods will result in the maximum haul for least amount of effort.

Speaking of costumes, I remember several memorable ones from my childhood. My mom made me an E.T. costume that I wore for several years.

STOP LAUGHING!

Back when I was a kid, E.T. was pretty cool. Plus, my dad took a mini-flashlight and rigged it so the tip of my costume's finger glowed red, just like in the movie. At the time, I had the coolest costume on the block.

I also remember dressing up as a caveman one year. I made a club out of paper maché covering a few styrofoam cups and a balloon. My dad helped me make my "furs" out of some old fake-fur coat liners that we sewed together. It was a pretty cool costume. I had a wig that we messed up by putting dirt and twigs in it, I got these fake bushy eyebrows too. My brother, G, had just finished some dinosaur project he did for a class so I also had an over-sized paper maché bone that I tucked into my fake fur belt. Yeah, I had a pretty cool costume that year.

I believe the last year I went trick-or-treating was at the start of my Sophomore year in High School. I had just discovered the Dragonlance books written by Weis and Hickman, and since I had already carved my Boy Scout walking stick into the semblance of a magical staff (basically, I carved the top into a three-pronged claw and glued a large blue marble in it), I decided to go as Raistlin Majere. That Halloween was one of the best I've ever had, and one of my last really good memories from when I lived in Pleasanton, but more on that later.

So my wife and I had put up decorations, and I even had a CD with recordings of scary sounds that I played last year (and got compliments on it!) all set up. Unfortunately I worked the night of Halloween, so I was not able to hand out candy this year. So instead, I spent my spare time during the night reading up on various Halloween customs around the world. It got me to thinking, I was curious as to the historical origins of the holiday. I knew a little of it, but wanted to know more, so I did some research on the internet and came up with this:

The Celts observed only two seasons of the year: summer and winter. Samhain was celebrated at one of the transitions between these seasons. It was the eve of their festival of Samhain which was a joyful harvest festival that marked the death of the old year and the beginning of a new one. The Celtic people feared this evening of October 31 more than any other day of the year. Come evening, evil spirits were everywhere. Several rituals were performed by the Celtic Druids to appease the Lord of the Dead.

Christianity entered the scene in the fourth century and the Christian Fathers tried their hardest to stamp out all things pagan. However, the Celts held firmly to their customs. So, the Christian church absorbed these holy days, gave them new meanings and new names, and told the people that the fire rites they had previously held for the Lord of the Dead on October 31 would now protect them from the Devil, the enemy of God.

In the 9th century the Christian church moved All Saint's Day from May to November 1st. The original festival for the pagan Lord of the Dead became a festival of Christian dead. People went on expecting the arrival of ghosts on October 31st. Another name for All Saint's Day was All Hallows' Eve which was later shortened to Halloween.

So, as my cousin put it, on Halloween we should be celebrating as if it were New Years Eve. Lots of drinking, partying, dressing up, having a great time... oh wait. We already do that.

Speaking of having a great time... flashing back to my last year of trick-or-treating - remember it was my Sophomore year in High School. So, I had a group of friends from scouts that I hung out with on occasion and we decided to all go around together as a group. A few of the guys had cars, so we were no longer restricted in the areas we could trick-or-treat. We could drive anywhere. For a teen who previously had no method of transportation, and consequently no way of traveling to other neighborhoods this was an awesome feeling.

All sorts of questions rushed through my head. What new areas would we target for trick-or-treating? What kind of candy do they have in these other areas? Are they as good as the rumors have built them up to be? Will we visit more than one part of the town on Halloween night? Is it true that the candy bars are chocolate-ier on the other side of town?

Then one of the group spoke up and suggested we target an area that previously never was even a possibility. It was an area that none of the rest of us had ever been before. Blackhawk. What was Blackhawk? Another good question. Blackhawk is an unincorporated neighborhood about 10 miles north of Pleasanton. Everyone knew it was there, but not many had ever actually been there, for you see Blackhawk is a gated community where many rich celebrities lived. All of us non-rich people were kept out by the armed guards at the front gates. My friend said, however, that his older brother had trick-or-treated inside Blackhawk a few years prior, and that his brother had revealed to him the secret of how to get in and trick-or-treat at this, the Holy Grail of trick-or-treating locations.

Basically, it involves a group of eleven people, all with diverse skills, running a series of scams which all lead up to the biggest heist in Las Ve.. oh wait. Nevermind. That's just my thoughts on a movie script I'm gonna polish up, then travel back in time to get made into a movie. I am thinking of Clooney and Pitt for the lead roles. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Anyways, back to Blackhawk. Basically it involves parking about a half-mile behind the community, along a side road. Then tromping over hill and dale, through brush and grass, to enter the community from the rear.

Hrm, that just sounds wrong, lets try again.

We maneuvered around the back of the community to penetrate it from behind.

Oh, crap, that sounds worse. I'm gonna stop - I'm positive you get the idea of what happened and how it was to happen. So, we all told our parents we were going to go trick-or-treating over near our high-school, because if we told them we were going to illegally enter the gated Blackhawk community to beg candy from strange rich people, I'm positive it never would have happened. Just because parents are weird like that.

Flash-forward to Halloween night. My parents, being the awesome people they are on Halloween, served up one of two traditional Halloween dishes. Now, you must understand that on Halloween, my parents quickly realized that with all the time spent getting five children ready to go out trick-or-treating, then time spent actually TAKING them trick-or-treating, then time spent sorting through candy once they got home from trick-or-treating (throw away anything opened or with torn packaging, right?), that they would have absolutely no time for preparing a meal, serving a meal, eating a meal, and cleaning up a meal.

So they made things easy for everyone and had one of two meals - Kraft Deluxe Macaroni and Cheese (it HAS to be the deluxe - because the powdered stuff just doesn't cut it!) or pizza. That night we had pizza. I even remember the restaurant. Garlex Pizza. They had the best crusts - all garlicky and buttery - like a breadstick all on its own, to enjoy once you finished the deliciousness of the rest of the garlicky/cheesy/saucy slice. Too bad they are only located in California, otherwise I would be ordering them at least once a week if not more.


Actual picture of a Garlex Pizza pizza!


So after devouring my chosen victims.. uh.. slices, I quickly finished off my costume and waited for my friends to stop by to pick me up. I handed out candy to a few little kids that had already started to come through the neighborhood, so my mom could help my brothers finish getting ready. Then a horn from outside announced that they were here! I called out to my mom that I was heading out and I would be back late that night. I didn't wait for an answer and ran to meet my friends as I grabbed my staff and pillowcase. Oh yeah, I had to hide the pillowcase on my way out the door, because my parents felt that going trick-or-treating with a pillowcase was somehow crass or lower-class. Silly parents, don't they know that with a larger container, I can get more loot?

I squeezed in the car and we went off to pick up one other guy and then met up with the other car. We all proceeded to drive over to the side road near the back side of Blackhawk. After everyone piled out, we saw a few other cars were parked nearby that also had kids in costumes sitting in them. One of my friends walked over to the closest car and greeted the kids inside. The guy in the drivers seat said that he has been coming here for the past two years, and that the trick was to wait until just after the sun sets, because if you try to cross the fields in the sunlight, the guards who drive around in Blackhawk can see you. So we waited. The wait was short as the sun was already nearly set, and we passed the time by talking to the guy and getting all the information we could on what to expect.

He said that once we get inside, we will be left alone by the security. He also noted that the prior two years his group worked in conjunction with another group, which did not make it this year because all the kids had left for college, to share intel on which houses had the best loot. Our groups agreed to share information on houses we had hit up, so as to maximize the loot-gathering time spent in Blackhawk.

The sun set and we took off through the fields. On the way over, I asked what sort of candy to expect to get, and the guy said that many of the houses just hand out the fun-size candies, but there are some that hand out regular size candy bars, and a rare few that have handed out the king-size ones. My friends and I all looked at each other and grinned.

The rest of the night went by so quickly. I honestly do not remember much of the rest of that night. I do remember one awesome thing, one of the guys who had been there in previous years came up to us at one point and told us to go down two blocks, turn right and hit up the house on that street with all the lights. He said that house was John Madden's house and that he was giving out the best treat of all. He pulled out a Discman from his pillowcase. We ran as fast as we could, but unfortunately we got to the home too late. John Madden, or more accurately whomever he had answering his door that night, had ran out of the Discmen, and was only giving out king-size Snickers. I also remember that my haul was the envy of my brothers and sisters and that it lasted me until Christmas, not for lack of eating it though.

Halloween is meant to be a fun, enjoyable time for kids. Something to look forward to after the depression of school starting up again has had time to sink in. Halloween is supposed to be a time for children to be, well, children. That is why it is a damn shame that only three kids came by my home this year to trick-or-treat. Are they all at home playing Call of Duty - too busy to be bothered with dressing up and going door to door to get free candy and have fun? Or are their parents too scared that they will be kidnapped and won't let them outside?

I really do not know why children do not go trick-or-treating on Halloween any more. I do know, that Halloween was one of my favorite times of the year growing up. Just behind Christmas and my birthday, and just ahead of Easter (you got more candy on Halloween - sorry Easter!) I find it sad that today's generation, for whatever reason, is not having the same enjoyable experiences that I had as a kid.

Maybe it is for the best, its not like kids today have the guts to go around to peoples' houses and beg for candy while dressed up as E.T.

Lies I told my brother #12: Light bulbs

Like most big brothers, I was mean to my younger brothers. I guess it was for a variety of reasons, my sisters were mean to me so I was mean in turn to them, or maybe it was because I was bullied at school so I needed someone in turn to bully, but probably it was because I was a jerk when I was younger.

Some simple background here, I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. One of my brothers, lets call him G, is only 3 years younger than I, while the youngest, lets call him D, is 8 years younger.

G was an even tempered kid growing up and didn't get into trouble a lot. D, on the other hand, was always into mischief. He felt it necessary to cause as much destruction as possible, all the time. One time he fed all of my Transformer Constructicons to our dog who promptly chewed them all to pieces. So with that example in mind, please do not judge what G and I did. We told D lies. We told him such outlandish lies to curtail his destruction that looking back on it, I almost feel bad. Then I remember my Constructicons and feelings of regret disappear.

In our garage, our dad had fluorescent light fixtures with those large pole-looking fluorescent light bulbs. They were constantly going bad, and being replaced, but he never threw the bad ones away, just put them up on a rack in the garage. Well one summer after he had collected about six or seven bad ones, he finally decided to discard them. He had one of my older sisters put them in the trash can in the backyard. Bad idea.

D found them pretty quickly and went and got G and I to grab them out of the trashcan. D said they looked like lightsabers and he wanted to try having a lightsaber battle with them. Well, I honestly do not remember who said it first, but we quickly elaborated on it once the idea was brought to fruition. I believe the conversation went something like this...

Either G or myself: "D, we can't have a lightsaber battle with them."

D: "Why not?"

Either G or myself: "Because, if we fight with them, they will break, and glass will get all over."

D: "So?"

Either G or myself: "So we will get in trouble and then have to clean it up."

D: "So?"

Either G or myself: "D, we can't break them because they are full of poison gas."

The other one of us: "Yeah, if we fight with them and they break, then the gas will escape and it will melt all the flesh off our bones!"

D: "What?!?"

Either G or myself: "Yeah, all lightbulbs are full of this gas. It is horrible, but this is the only gas that lights up properly, so they have to use it."

D: "Even the small lightbulbs?"

Either G or myself: "Yeah, don't break any lightbulbs unless you want your flesh to dissolve."

I know. We're horrible brothers to D. In our defense, at the time, it was all perfectly logical to us - tell a lie and prevent D from breaking more things. No big deal to us. I believe we even elaborated the lie further by saying it was a greenish gas and it stank real bad.

I am unsure how long this lie stuck with him, although when asked recently he said he does no longer believe it. Needless to say, the lie we told was successful. I do not believe D ever broke a lightbulb while growing up.

Dancing in the rain

On the internet earlier, I read something that caught my eye. "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain." Honestly I dismissed it at first as one of those goofy proverb things like "Love, Live, Laugh". But then I started thinking about what it really means, and how it applies to my life.

Scarily enough, after some introspection, I realized how much it does apply to my life.

I wrote an entry a while back about unfinished business and how I have so much of it in my life. This sign perfectly captures how I feel about that unfinished business.

But before I delve into my unfinished business, there are two things in my life that I believe I got right. I hope I don't come across as preachy, but I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs - I think I got that right. I married a fantastic woman, who is not only my best friend, but a wonderful, loving, and caring wife - I know I got that one right.

I do have many things that are unfinished, or were off track, but I think I have most of them back headed in the right direction. I have struggled with my weight due to lack of willpower (working at fast food places for years did not help any), but now I have learned to control my food portions, am eating healthier, and am steadily losing weight. I am working on many of the unfinished projects I have around my home and bringing them to completion. I am also helping my parents remodel their bathrooms and kitchen.

What I am most proud of, however, is the changes that I am making in my career/job path. My wife and I really examined what is holding me back from getting a career, rather than having low-skilled low-paying job after job. I needed a college degree, so two years ago, I went back to school. Yeah - I went back to school when I was 33. 15 years after I graduated High School, I started college. It has been an adventure. I finalized my degree recently - I'm shooting for a double major: Computer Science and Information Systems Management along with a certificate in Project Management for IT Professionals.

I would like to think I have turned my life around and fixed it. I needed a purpose in my life to motivate me to change. I found a purpose. I should correct that statement, I did not find a purpose, I rediscovered my purpose. See, my purpose to get my life back on track is the most important person in my life. Amanda, my wife. I kinda forgot that for a while, but I rediscovered it and I am improving my life for her.

The action of changing your life, to switch it from the path you are heading down to another, different, better track is hard to start. I knew I needed to change, and once I rediscovered the purpose in my life, I had to find the strength to make the transition. I marshaled my resources, namely my family's approval and promise of support and my wife's encouragement. I identified the new destination I needed in my life and the path I had to take to get there. And...

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.

I've been waiting for too long.

I'm gonna go dance in the rain.

Perhaps I will dance the Macarena.

Why pizza is the best food in the universe, Reason #53: You only need one hand to eat it.

The final Borders Books stores closed this past weekend. My wife and I will miss going there to walk through the aisles of printed enjoyment. The smell of a freshly printed book as it is broken open for the first time is something wonderful and should be experienced at least once in everyone's lifetime. The fun of browsing in Borders for the next book by a favored author is gone. The excitement at finding a new release by a previously unknown author is no more.

Sure there are other bookstores, Barnes and Noble comes to mind, but Borders will always hold a special place in my heart. I totally understand why they went out of business - a combination of rising sales over the internet combined with a failure of Borders to see how large a market eBooks would become. Putting it in perspective, though, my loss of a location to purchase books pales in comparison to the issues facing the 10k+ employees who lost their jobs and are now entering into the worst job market in my lifetime. I hope all of them are able to land on their feet and enjoy a good slice of pizza.



Curling up with a good book in bed, on a couch, or a large comfy chair is one of my "comfort actions", that is to say - things I do to relax and be more at peace. Previously, it would solely be printed books, but more recently I have been reading numerous eBooks. I have a large library of printed books, but only a few eBooks. I love the portability of eBooks and my current eBook reader doubles as my cellphone. On the other hand, I love turning pages in a printed book - the thrill of getting to the end of a page and the anticipation of what is going to happen next as you grab the top corner of the sheet and flipping it over to reveal the author's next words hiding behind. I love it!

My mom says I started to read at an extremely early age. I would read the newspaper, not understanding half the words. My mom says I read everything I could get my hands upon. She would take me to the library every few weeks and I would go in with one stack of books to return and exit with another stack of comparable size. In school, I was in an advanced English program where I would read a book and have to make an oral presentation to my class, weekly. It was a ton of fun traveling the world in those book reports doing everything from exploring the tomb of Tutankhamen to traveling to distant planets with Tom Swift.

As far back as I can remember I have been an avid page turner. I have explored Middle Earth, Pern, Faerun, Krynn, the world of The Belgariad, the world of The Wheel of Time, and many more fantasy worlds. Many science fiction novels have passed through my hands as well. I have stayed up many a late night walking down dusty trails and traveling from planet to planet with the characters in these books.

My current book selections are still as fantastic and wonderful as they were in my childhood, but I have become more discerning in my book choices. I have started examining books that my favorite authors enjoy reading to get a better idea of what they look at as good entertainment, and I have found a few hidden gems that I would never have known. I would like to share these fantastic stories with you here. Most people probably already know about the last one on the list, but I am keeping it for sake of completion.

Patrick Rothfuss - The Name of the Wind Series
Brent Weeks - The Night Angel Trilogy
Jim Butcher - The Dresden Files
Simon R. Green - Deathstalker, Nightside, and Secret Histories series
George R.R. Martin - A Song of Fire and Ice (A Game of Thrones)

For a while, a few years back, I lost interest in reading. It was a difficult part of my life and it was hard to do many of the things in my life that previously made me happy. My wife encouraged me to continue reading, knowing how much I love it. I eventually made it through that part of my life and now I am back to devouring books as fast as I ever have. I also have a new goal in my life. I want to write. I know, I know... everyone thinks they can be a writer. What I really want to do is craft a world and spin a tale that will, hopefully, one day help someone else through troubled times in their life.

Recently, I have been going to Panera Bread, buying a large bowl of french onion soup, and spending a few hours enjoying my book. I can enjoy one of my comfort foods while taking a journey in a book in between spoonfuls. However, when I go out for pizza, I can eat a pizza slice being held in one hand while simultaneously reading my book with the other. Is there any other food that can be easily held and eaten while reading? Possibly, but none that are anywhere near as delicious. Eating pizza and reading - two of my favorite things.



Why pizza is the best food in the universe, Reason #53: You only need one hand to eat it.

Where was I when it happened?

It started as an ordinary day. Just like every other ordinary day. Ordinary 70 degree temperatures with clear skies. Ordinary traffic on the roads. Ordinary music playing on the radio. Ordinary in every way, but one. By the end of this ordinary day, September 11th, 2001, the world will have changed.

I cannot remember the exact timeline of the events as I experienced them, but I do remember what I heard. What I saw. What I felt.

I was working at McDonald's at the time as an assistant manager. I had the mid-day shift and was scheduled to work at 9:00 am, but I showed up a bit early - I don't remember how early. The business was a little slow that morning, and nobody at work knew what was occurring 200 miles to the northeast.

Right around 9am, one of the shift managers came in and ran back to the break room sobbing loudly. I quickly followed to see what was the problem, and found her openly crying while tuning the television to... honestly I don't remember what channel she turned it to, probably just whichever one got the best reception. She got it tuned in just in time for the two of us, joined by a few other crew members who came back to see what was wrong, to see Flight 175  impact into the South Tower of the World Trade Center. One of the staff muttered a prayer under her breath somewhere behind me, but it was silent in that room other than some muffled sobs from the shift manager. She then spoke up and said that a plane had just hit a building in New York. None of us had any idea at that time that we had just seen a SECOND plane impact.

The next half-hour or so was a whirlwind of emotion as we followed the story play out live before our eyes and ears. We had to continue running the restaurant, so I worked the front while the shift manager composed herself. We switched off watching television and helping customers. Oh yes, customer after customer reported to us what was occurring. One guy said that he heard there were three more planes that were hijacked and heading to the west coast. Another said he heard that the U.S. Military was being mobilized and all military personnel were being ordered to report. I had no idea what to believe.

Then the other manager came out and passed on some information that made my heart skip a beat. She said there were reports that a third plane had hit the Pentagon and a fourth hijacked plane possibly also inbound for Washington D.C.

My wife's work at the time was located in Washington D.C.

She worked for an OB/GYN located in Dupont Circle - right down the street from the White House. I tried calling my wife's work, but could not get through. The phone circuits were all busy, both land lines and cellular lines. I could not get through to her. I got a very deep sinking feeling in my gut and I cried.

I don't know how much time passed, but my cellphone rang. OH MY GOD IT WAS MY WIFE CALLING. I picked up the phone and asked her if she was alright or hurt, and if she was on her way out of the city. She paused for a second and assured me she was fine, then reminded me that it was Tuesday which meant she was working in Rockville (a city in Maryland about 20 miles outside of Washington D.C.) I told her I loved her probably twenty times that call before she promised to call me when she got home safely and hung up.

I sat in the restaurant office for a few minutes to compose myself, when another employee called out for everyone to get back to the break room, followed by a much quieter "Oh my god." The South Tower had just collapsed.

They replayed it over and over. I never saw any replay of the planes themselves hitting the towers, thank god for whomever made that decision, but the station we were watching replayed the collapse over and over. It was as if there was nothing else happening in the world, it was so surreal.  I stayed and watched the television for a while. Employees came back and relayed information/rumors they were getting from customers: Car bombs are going off in Washington D.C. (false) The Air Force shot down a hijacked plane that was heading for the White House (false - it crashed) All US air travel is shut down (true) and all planes found to still be flying will be shot down (false - no planes were shot down) All US military is on high alert anticipating further terrorist attacks (true) This was done by terrorists - Very true - it was all over the news by this time that this was a terrorist act.

I then watched the North Tower collapse.

The news anchors/reporters were trying to remain calm, but I could hear the tension in their voices as they tried to clinically describe for the viewers what was happening. I admire them, whomever they are, for their strength to continue reporting the news at a time when most of the nation was in shock, grieving or both.  As the day continued, the news agencies firmed up reports of the airplane brought down in Pennsylvania and dispelled rumors. After these events, most of the rest of the day passed with me in a haze. I do remember the district manager calling to say that any employee call-outs are not excused. At the time I just agreed and hung up. Looking back on it, I cannot believe how heartless that woman was. That action was one of the many reasons why I would leave that job within a month.

I don't remember driving home that day, but I do remember looking up into the sky at work and after I got home and seeing no planes. None the next day either. It was a strange feeling to look up into the sky and KNOW that there was no planes in the air anywhere in the US. I got home and held my wife for a long time. I said a prayer that night, giving thanks that my wife, and my family were safe that day. Then I prayed for all those that died.







Thank you to all the first responders who were there when you were needed the most.
Thank you to the passengers on Flight 93 for having the strength to do what you did, even when you knew it would cost you your lives.
Thank you to the U.S. Military for protecting this country hour after hour, day after day, month after month, and year after year.

Growing old is highly overrated

Well, I just had another birthday. I'm one more year older. It doesn't seem like I'm older, but my joints say otherwise. I always wondered why my parents complained so much about their aching joints, and now I know.

18 years ago, I turned 18. That was back in 1993. What happened to me in 1993? Lets see...
I graduated high school (barely).
I got kicked out of my aunts house where I was living.
I moved in with my manager from the McDonald's where I was working (Thanks Jeff for helping out a guy caught in a bad situation!)
And... I started dating my (then future) wife.

We went out on a several dates, and to be honest, I don't remember much about the dates themselves. I just remember being with her. Thanks for all the great memories dear!

Wow, I have had 36 birthdays in my time here on this planet. That's as opposed to my time spent on other planets of course. Thinking back, I cannot remember much about my early birthdays. Or even some of the more recent ones for that matter. I know I had them because my Mom has pictures from most (if not all) of them. At several of my birthdays I appear to be eating pizza. Imagine that!

I also don't remember many of the birthday presents I received over the years. One of the most memorable ones I got recently was from my wife - she got me the Star Wars Lego Death Star. Freaking awesome!






I seriously do not know of any cooler Star Wars Lego set. It took me like 3 weeks to build (I was working full time and in school at the time).


And for my birthday this year, she got me this.





Oh yeah, I know what sort of ice cubes will be in my drinks all summer long!


My wife knows exactly what to get me for my birthdays. As long as it is something from the heart, I will always appreciate it. And if it is anything relating to Star Wars, my inner geek will tremble in joy and happiness and it will be an awesome gift.


Hmm, I guess I still feel like I'm 18 after all. Birthdays are pretty awesome like that.

Unfinished Business

When I was younger, my brother, Geoff, and I used to play G.I. Joe. Now I can almost hear all of you thinking to yourselves... G.I. Joes were little army men, and their guns and an apparent lack of instructions on exactly how one was supposed to "play" with them. Well, the enterprising young kids that we were, we went about creating a series of bases, usually out of styrofoam packaging from whatever our parents had purchased recently. The bases would all invariably have a grand front gate which served no purpose other than to provide an entryway for the enemy to invade the base. Then the two of us would spend roughly an hour or so lining up all the Joes, making sure that each had their appropriate gear including their packs, guns, helmets, pets, etc. At last, we would have what can only be termed as a draft. We would pick Joes back and forth until all were gone. Then the vehicles were all equipped up and drafted starting with small one-man motorcycles moving up to the larger vehicles. We were never able to obtain a vehicle that compared to the G.I. Joe F-15 Jet that I got for Christmas one year, so it would never participate in these wars, and resigned itself to sitting high on a speaker off to the side watching all equally.





Finally, we would place all our G.I. Joes in our respective bases. I always took care to place my snipers in high locations, my grunts all along the front walls, and the specialist Joes (like the doctor mindreader guy or Zartan the chameleon) would always be located off to one side as reservists or for sneak attacks. We would spend the next hour or two ensuring that our guys were placed perfectly to fend off hordes of enemy Joes.

After hours of base crafting, Joe drafting, and army placement, we would finally be ready to start the battle. I honestly do not remember the rules that we used. I remember that we could move our Joes a predetermined number of inches one at a time, alternating back and forth. It was when the shooting started that the arguments started as well.

Thankfully, we hardly ever got to that point. By the time we had everything placed perfectly, it would be time for dinner or something and we would have to clean up. Seriously. We almost never got to the actual battling. I think that's why I cannot recall the rules that we used, because we never really used them. We never got to finish what we started. Dinner, bath-time, homework, housework, or yardwork. There was almost always something that interrupted our battles before they began and we had to pick it all up only to start again the following week.

I guess that is the story of my life. I start in on something only to be interrupted and have to set it aside for a week, a month, years, or forever.

Boy Scouts - I was unable to finish my Eagle Award because I moved from California to Maryland and had to set it aside.
College - I was unable to attend college right after high-school due to financial issues, and only was able to return to it a few short years ago.
House - I have numerous projects (too many to list) that I need to complete around my home that I continually have to put off.

Basically, I have a life full of projects, events, and opportunities that are unfinished.

I have come to realize that these projects are starting to define who I am as a person and I do not want that. I do not want to be known as a person who can not finish what he starts. To me, that is unacceptable.

I am no longer going to leave projects unfinished. Sure I may set a project aside for a while, but the alternative of leaving something unfinished my life is not an option any longer. I need to be a more reliable person, to be able to look back on my life and say to myself that I finished things, that I was able to complete things.

I no longer want to have unfinished business lingering around.